Yessss!!!

Sometimes I can't believe this is my home.  Berkeley, and when I say Berkeley I'm referring to the entire Bay area, San Francisco, Oakland, everything, is the most wonderful place I have ever lived.  I spend my days off hiking through the trails of Tilden National Forest.  I watched the sunset behind the city, I stared in wonder at the way the Bay Bridge glistens against the water and smiled at the way the Golden Gate stands against the horizon with such an amazing sense of authority.  All of this, along with the layers of trees and greenery that blanket the hills leading up to Tilden Park was seen from Sea View Point, just a 15 minute drive and one beautiful hike from my apartment.  I also spent a little time sunbathing on the beach at Lake Azna.  It's quaintness and simplicity is so serene I could have just lied there all day, taking in the scenery, the voices of those around me, the naked toddlers frolicking in the cool water.  I find myself smiling for no reason sometimes; I guess that's what it means to be happy.  Eyes closed, soft breadth, faint smiles that seem to last a life time, after so many years with my lips curved in a frown.  I am a woman in love with everything around me.  I find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop, like any moment I will wake up and realize that I don't belong here, that it was all a mistake, that my false sense of happiness will be humbled before my own disillusionment.  But it never comes.  I don't need a dose of reality, all of this is real and I am happy.  Life is what it is, but, in spite of the fears and insecurities that bite me in the ass on occasion, I am, without a doubt, truly, madly, deeply. . .happy.  I think it's important to recognize that sometimes.  Often times my words and perceptions are soaked in their own sorrow and I find myself wanting to shake it off of me like a wet dog and just go play.