Riding the Storm Out, Although When It's Over Please Tell REO Speedwagon to Eat My Ass

I've been thinking about becoming a nurse.  Not because I love medicine or people for that matter.  I just am so tired of working dead end jobs and barely making ends meet.  I can't help but wonder if maybe dreams are only meant for the overly-ambitious, cut-your-throat-for-the-part, brilliantly-creative, die-hard artists that somehow seem to reside in the coolest parts of the world and never seem to run short of food or clothing.  Perhaps I need to work harder at making wise decisions on how to spend my money.  But I'm scared, insecure, timid and confused 96% of the time.  The other 4% is spent reading books, having sex, or cleaning the bathroom.  Hunter says I should do some research before making an emotional decision.  It seems like the majority of big decisions I have ever made were either driven by emotions or by the need to please others.  Either way it leaves me unsatisfied and regretful.  For example, choosing to get a degree in Interior Design; I had an artist friend over at my very first apartment back when I was 20 and she said that I had a knack for decorating and should go into Interior Design, so I said, "o.k."  End of story.  Now I have a degree in a field I could do without and I'm waitressing at a job I hate.  So, for tonight, I'm taking Hunter's advice and I'm going to make a calculated decision, based on research and questions and I am going to leave my  people-pleasing, passion-driven resolution reaching process for someone slightly less medicated.  I'll let you know how it all works out.