There is tension between one of my closest friends and I. She recently blew me off with out so much as a phone call, something she has a tendency to do, but I love her and that's just one of her character defects, plus I know I'm not perfect either. Funny thing is something similar happened with Hunter and a friend of his over the weekend and I just got off the phone with my sponsor who just told me that her and her best friend had a falling out yesterday.
It's so strange what happens to friendships as we get older. The more depth they have, the more fragile they become. One fight could sabotage everything. In all it's strength and intimacy, in spite of the shared experiences and cherished disclosures, a few poorly chosen words could completely devastate all that it represented to begin with. Really, a friendship isn't much different from a bar of chocolate in the sunlight; it's sweet, solid and easily dissolves if left beneath the heat for too long. I remember when I was a child, I would get into fights with my friends and I would walk away or talk to someone about it and then, what usually happened is that we would both realize that the joy of the companionship simply outweighed the reason we were upset to begin with. Perhaps it's the disillusionment that comes with too many broken hearts and promises; I suppose after enough pain, it just feels safer to let go of the friendship all together, but it seems that as adults, when we talk to each other about what a friend might have done, it's more or less for validation, not to be told what we did wrong, and when we walk away, it's usually for good. I am a difficult person to be friends with and have had to work really hard to maintain, or sometimes, salvage what I have with the women in my life and sometimes it was better to let go but I can't help but wonder at what point in our lives did letting go become so easy?
No comments:
Post a Comment